A self-help bookshelf dates
He and she were on their first date. He was an entrepreneur, and she was a computer science professor. They both arrived at the restaurant at the planned time.
‘I thought you’d be late.’ He said, looking at his phone. He was listening to something.
‘So I surprised you.’ She laughed.
‘Yea. People surprise me. Every time.’ He revealed, taking his earbuds out.
She looked at him curiously. ‘Shall I guess something about you?’ She asked.
‘Define guess.’
‘Umm? I just felt something about you and felt like expressing that to you.’ She explained.
‘Understand one thing clearly. Your feelings and opinions are completely subjective and dependent on your personal past.’
‘Okay.’ She shrugged.
They both went silent for a few moments. They ordered food.
‘So? Where do you stay? You have good friends around here?’ She asked cheerfully.
‘Define good.’ He said.
‘Good?’
‘What do you mean by good here? In this context.’
‘Good friends? They are someone who you can count on?’
‘Let me ask you this.’
‘…?’
‘Why do you want to count on someone?’
‘Isn’t it good to have people around you you can trust and have some quality time with?’
‘Ok. Define quality time.’
‘Wow! That was just a chit-chat question. You don’t have to get so deep in it.’
‘What do you mean by deep?’
‘Umm… Nothing. Let's have our dinner.’ She smiled and got her attention back on her plate.
‘So, you are one of those light-minded people who don’t want to discuss anything complex, huh?’
She took that offensive. ‘Excuse me? I’m a professor. I have a doctorate.’
‘Of course you have. Everyone carries one these days.’ He laughed, sipping on his glass of water.
‘Oh? So, what’s your education again?’
‘Define education.’
She rolled her eyes. ‘Okay. let's do this your way. It is gaining knowledge, skills, values, morals, beliefs…’
‘And you believe you can not gain all those things you listed without your formal edjjuation?’ He stressed and air quoted education.
‘You can. But a streamlined process will definitely help. Wouldn’t you agree?’
‘I disagree.’ He started eating. She waited for him to say something. He did not. He was focussing on his plate eating.
‘You care to elaborate on why you disagree?’
‘Okay. Let me tell you a really valuable secret. Promise me you will remember.’
‘Definitely promise.’
‘Education should be boundless. Dot.’
‘Okay. Yea, I agree.’ She nodded.
‘But did you understand it? Simply agreeing and understanding are different things.’
‘Okay…’ she said, inhaling and exhaling deeply.
‘Sleep on it. Over the years, you will realize the power of those words.’ He repeated his words again slowly, ‘Understanding… and… agreeing… are… completely… different.’
‘What business are you doing?’ She switched topics, keeping a rigid face.
‘Define business.’
‘Your profile says you are a business executive. So I’m curious.’
‘No. Don’t skip my question. Think patiently and answer. What is a business?’
She took a breath and said. ‘Business is a person’s regular occupation, profession, trade…’
‘Aha! So that’s where you are wrong. Regular you said! Why can’t a person earn a fortune now and then and do whatever he wants in the remaining times?’
‘One can. Certainly.’
‘Then why do you expect everyone to be trapped in a 9–5 cell with you?’
‘When did I say that? I just asked what business you do?’
‘So, you want a simple and easily comprehensible answer?’
‘Comprehensible! Yea, please dumb that down for me.’
‘I read a book a day. Period.’
‘Okay,’ she started doubting herself existing there.
‘And I’m pretty sure you don’t understand the value of that business. Do you?’
‘Reading good books is good.’
‘Aha. How do you judge a book as good or bad?’ He questioned.
‘Me? I look for ratings.’
‘haha. Ratings you say? I feel bad for you.’ He held his laugh, having food in his mouth.
‘Why? You cannot go read every book out there to experience yourself to judge.’
‘Well, I’m here to say you can read every book out there. I’m living proof of it. I never read reviews. I attribute all my success in my life to that habit. Dot.’
‘Okay. Reading is your business. Got it.’
‘You certainly did not.’ He smiled firmly.
‘Oh.’ She looked outside the glass window.
‘Books are the ore for my businesses. I’m a thought manufacturer and trader.’ He spelled with an accent.
‘Good.’ She nodded without looking at him.
‘I invented the business, by the way. I trade thoughts and expert opinions.’
‘Like a consultant?’ she asked, playing with the food served to her with the fork.
He spilled some water, trying to hold his laughter. ‘I told you wouldn’t get it. They are completely different. Whatever I educated you to this point seems to have gone nowhere.’
‘Well, yeah. What to do? I’m a dumb person.’ She mimicked, blinking her eyes.
‘There you go. That’s a revelation. The very thing you said makes you better than a dumb person. You should feel proud.’
‘Thank you very much.’ She replied, stressing the words.
‘A dumb person would never ever know that she is a dumb person. That’s the beauty of intelligence.’
‘Yep. Totally. Who are your clients? By the way?’
‘Define client.’ He asked with a firm voice, folding his hands onto his chest as if he did that for the first time.
She took a deep breath. ‘Someone who pays you in return for a service you provide.’
‘What is pay?’
She closed her eyes. ‘Pay is something that we get to get our lives going. We can spend the pay to buy groceries, offer dinners like this and...’
‘I disagree.’
‘…’
He started focussing on his plate again.
‘WHY?’ she yelled.
‘Let me put it this way. What is wealth in your worldview?’
‘Okay... I don’t know. You teach me.’
‘Now we are talking.’ He smiled. ‘You may think wealth is money. Wealth is having a pleasant home, wealth is having a big bank balance, and so on. But I’m here to say, you are completely wrong. Wealth is possibilities! I even lived as a homeless person for a few months. You can’t afford to experience that. Now, who is wealthy?’
‘So, you are homeless?’ She asked.
‘*haha* Pathetic understanding, dear. Pathetic.’
‘What? Where do you live?’ She really got concerned about the person.
‘About living. Define Life.’
‘Okay. I’m tired of this.’
‘Am I cognitively demanding for you?’ He asked genuinely.
‘Umm... Yep. And let's wrap this.’
‘Wrap what?’
‘This conversation.’
‘Define conversation!’
‘Well. You know what? I don’t want to define that.’
‘People say they don’t want it. But in reality, they don’t know it.’ He said, slowly plugging his earphones back into his ears.
She stood up and collected her bag. ‘I’m leaving.’ She said, keeping her bill amount on the table with a bang.
He did not reply. Instead, he put his mobile on the table which was running a self-help audiobook called How to not give a crap about lesser people.
‘Is this some kind of sick joke?’ She asked furiously, placing her hands on the table.
He waved his hands, bidding goodbye without looking at her. She shook her head, threw her hands, and walked away, slapping the restaurant door behind her. He resumed the audiobook.
You is you. There is quite nothing in this universe like you. You is unique so is this universe. You is the only thing you own. The universe starts with you. The universe has waited for you.
He liked that passage. He took out his physical personal diary to write that down. His posture and the way he holds the pen made him look like an educated person. People would have believed that he was working on something really important if no one told them otherwise.
